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Frank & Funny

Happy birthday! Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Happy birthday!
Inside: Celebrate as best you can without pulling a muscle.
$2.95 | #6839
You get all the credit, but your mom did all the work. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
You get all the credit, but your mom did all the work.
Inside: Happy birthday. (Call her.)
$2.95 | #6853
It’s your birthday. Let’s not whine about how old we’re getting. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
It’s your birthday. Let’s not whine about how old we’re getting.
Inside: Let’s wine about how old we’re getting.
$2.95 | #6845
My memory isn’t what it used to be. At least I don’t think it is. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
My memory isn’t what it used to be. At least I don’t think it is.
Inside: Happy birthday... right?
$2.95 | #6847
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday!
Inside: But I used up all my wishes on a new multi-level marketing company with a guy named Ponzi. (Wanna buy a bunch of detergent?)
$2.95 | #6843
On your birthday, don’t worry about how fattening your cake is. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
On your birthday, don’t worry about how fattening your cake is.
Inside: Allow me!
$2.95 | #6848
Happy birthday! Surprise! Oh, sorry, there’s no party. I just remembered your birthday. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Happy birthday! Surprise! Oh, sorry, there’s no party. I just remembered your birthday.
Inside: Surprise!
$2.95 | #6840
We should catch up over a glass of wine. Frank & Funny | Friendship
We should catch up over a glass of wine.
Inside: Or really we should anything over a glass of wine.
$2.95 | #6852
I’m not embarrassed to admit you’re my hero. Frank & Funny | Friendship
I’m not embarrassed to admit you’re my hero.
Inside: (If you’ve been waiting for the perfect , dramatic moment to reveal your ability to fly or just jump pretty high, it’s now.)
$2.95 | #6844
True friendship is sometimes forgotten, but it’s always there when you really need it. Frank & Funny | Friendship
True friendship is sometimes forgotten, but it’s always there when you really need it.
Inside: And if it isn’t, you really notice. Kind of like your epiglottis.
$2.95 | #6851
Life hack: To avoid cluttering your kitchen with dirty dishes.... Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
Life hack: To avoid cluttering your kitchen with dirty dishes....
Inside: Try leaving them in another room.
$2.95 | #6846
I never see you at the gym anymore... Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
I never see you at the gym anymore...
Inside: Maybe I should start going again.
$2.95 | #6842
I could not support a war for oil. Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
I could not support a war for oil.
Inside: I could, however, support a war for really good vinegar.
$2.95 | #6841
Did you ever notice everyone is always barefoot on the covers of self-help books? Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
Did you ever notice everyone is always barefoot on the covers of self-help books?
Inside: Maybe shoes are holding us back.
$2.95 | #6838
Thank you. Frank & Funny | Thank You
Thank you.
Inside: You cover more rear ends than Fruit of the Loom.
$2.95 | #6849
To cheer you up, I was going to send you a stripper. Frank & Funny | Get Well
To cheer you up, I was going to send you a stripper.
Inside: But instead I just rubbed my butt on this card. Way cheaper. (I’m here for you!)
$2.95 | #6850
45s, albums, MP3s, 8-tracks, cassettes, CDs, streaming... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
45s, albums, MP3s, 8-tracks, cassettes, CDs, streaming...
Inside: Then you know what real music is and therefore will be allowed to DJ your own party. Happy birthday!

$2.95 | #6548
A little health tip for your birthday... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
A little health tip for your birthday...
Inside: I heard a banana a day is a good way to help keep your colon clean. Turns out you're supposed to eat them.
$2.95 | #4721
Advice to live by now that you're older: Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Advice to live by now that you're older:
Inside: Pee. (Happy birthday.)
$2.95 | #5050
After 18 tedious years... Frank & Funny | Graduation
After 18 tedious years...
Inside: Now you can go to work for the next 50 continuous years… With no summer vacations… Yay, education.
$2.95 | #5132
Are you igneous, metamorphic, or sedimentary? Frank & Funny | Thank You
Are you igneous, metamorphic, or sedimentary?
INSIDE: All I know is you rock!
$2.95 | #6337
As you get older... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
As you get older...
Inside: That’s just your body making room for dessert. Happy birthday.
$2.95 | #5136
Bappy hirthday! Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Bappy hirthday!
Inside: Drink until it looks right.
$2.95 | #5775
Congrats, you made a person! Frank & Funny | New Baby
Congrats, you made a person!
Inside: I can’t even make lasagna.
$2.95 | #5776
Congratulations! You did it! Frank & Funny | Congratulations
Congratulations! You did it!
Inside: (You did do it, right?)
$2.95 | #5777
Congratulations! You’re also good looking and humble. Frank & Funny | Congratulations
Congratulations! You’re also good looking and humble.
Inside: A little too humble. If I were you, I’d be dancing around playing air guitar right now.
$2.95 | #6549
Do car wash companies make you feel bad... Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
Do car wash companies make you feel bad...
INSIDE: No, they don't. That's right, dental hygienist lady. They don’t.
$2.95 | #6338
Dogs have 95% fewer germs in their mouths than people do. Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
Dogs have 95% fewer germs in their mouths than people do.
Inside: But all the ones they do have are from their butt.
$2.95 | #5778
Ever walk into a room and forget what you were looking for? Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Ever walk into a room and forget what you were looking for?
INSIDE: Just wait until you walk in to a room and forget who you are. Happy birthday!
$2.95 | #6340
Every time you have a birthday... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Every time you have a birthday...
Inside: I feel old.
$2.95 | #5138
Fitness tip: Wear workout clothes to the bakery. Frank & Funny | Friendship
Fitness tip: Wear workout clothes to the bakery.
Inside: So when people see you eating a scone, it looks like you earned it.
$2.95 | #5054
For your birthday, I was gonna bake you a cake and give you a gift... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
For your birthday, I was gonna bake you a cake and give you a gift...
INSIDE: Unfortunately, it was delicious. Happy birthday.
$2.95 | #6339
For your birthday... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
For your birthday...
Inside: But, by the time I found my glasses, I forgot what I was doing.
$2.95 | #4719
For your birthday... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
For your birthday...
Inside: I know aquariums can be a pain, so I left the goldfish at the pet store. You can visit anytime. He's the orange one.
$2.95 | #4734
Getting older requires a different set of skills... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Getting older requires a different set of skills...
INSIDE: Such as the ability to nap anywhere, anytime. Happy birthday!
$2.95 | #6341
Go for it! And if you ever wonder where to begin... Frank & Funny | Encouragement
Go for it! And if you ever wonder where to begin...
Inside: A trip to the bathroom.
$2.95 | #6550
Happy birthday to a wonderful person! You’re bright... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Happy birthday to a wonderful person! You’re bright...
Inside: Just like all the candles on your birthday cake!
$2.95 | #6206
Happy birthday to the most amazing... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Happy birthday to the most amazing...
Inside: Your mom picked out the card.
$2.95 | #4735
Happy birthday to you! Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Happy birthday to you!
Inside: (Sorry, I can’t find the emoji buttons on this card.)
$2.95 | #6551
Happy birthday! For your eyes only! Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Happy birthday! For your eyes only!
Inside: Do me a favor. I couldn't think of anything to write, so please pretend that you're reading something really touching, maybe even wipe away
$2.95 | #4723
Happy birthday! Life doesn’t get better than this! Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Happy birthday! Life doesn’t get better than this!
Inside: After a certain age, that sounds more like a threat than a promise.
$2.95 | #6207
Happy birthday! Remember when we were kids... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Happy birthday! Remember when we were kids...
Inside: Okay, that’s enough now.
$2.95 | #6552
Having a birthday is a lot like... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Having a birthday is a lot like...
Inside: It feels good as long as you don't think about it.
$2.95 | #4720
Having you in my life has really done wonders for me. Frank & Funny | Friendship
Having you in my life has really done wonders for me.
Inside: I used to be a social caterpillar.
$2.95 | #6208
I am so excited for you! Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
I am so excited for you!
INSIDE: If I were a monkey, I’d be slinging poo right now!
$2.95 | #6343
I bought a free-range chicken... Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
I bought a free-range chicken...
Inside: It tasted surprised.
$2.95 | #4739
I eat bacon every day. Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
I eat bacon every day.
Inside: It's delicious. And it helps keep my mind off these weird chest pains I keep having.
$2.95 | #5056
I feel like if the Zombie Apocalypse happened... Frank & Funny | Thank You
I feel like if the Zombie Apocalypse happened...
Inside: Thanks.
$2.95 | #5143
I got you a cake for your birthday. It's gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, sugar-free, vegan, cruel Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
I got you a cake for your birthday. It's gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free, sugar-free, vegan, cruel
Inside: Ok, I'm not sure that there is any actual cake in it, but it is cake shaped.
$2.95 | #5342
I know this might not be as gratifying as a “like” on Facebook... Frank & Funny | Congratulations
I know this might not be as gratifying as a “like” on Facebook...
Inside: But congratulations anyway!
$2.95 | #6209
I love birthdays. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
I love birthdays.
Inside: The colonoscopies, the EKG's, the bone density tests. Enjoy the festivities!
$2.95 | #5057
I read that satori... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
I read that satori...
Inside: All this time you thought you were having "senior moments." It turns out you're a Zen master! Happy birthday!
$2.95 | #4722
I tried meditation. Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
I tried meditation.
Inside: I think I was doing it wrong. My meditation was, "Ohhhhmmmm my God, I've got so much to do I can't believe I am sitting here wasting time...
$2.95 | #4740
I won a bet because I said you would graduate. Frank & Funny | Graduation
I won a bet because I said you would graduate.
Inside: Your parents owe me $50.
$2.95 | #5134
I wrote a song for your birthday. It goes like this... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
I wrote a song for your birthday. It goes like this...
INSIDE: Okay, maybe a card wasn't the best medium for this.
$2.95 | #6342
I’m not saying you’re smarter than me, but... Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
I’m not saying you’re smarter than me, but...
Inside: I once spilled laundry detergent on my shirt and thought, "How do I wash this out?"
$2.95 | #5783
I’ve been having transmission problems lately... Frank & Funny | Get Well
I’ve been having transmission problems lately...
Inside: So in addition to positive thoughts, I’m covering my bases and sending you this card. Thinking of you.
$2.95 | #6555
If you weren’t my friend, I think I’d go crazy. Frank & Funny | Friendship
If you weren’t my friend, I think I’d go crazy.
Inside: Well, crazier.
$2.95 | #6553
It’s said that as you get older, a good deed, a daily nap, and a brisk walk... Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
It’s said that as you get older, a good deed, a daily nap, and a brisk walk...
Inside: I have found that warm jammies, cable TV, and a glass of wine will put a smile on your face 100% of the time!
$2.95 | #6554
It's okay to leave your credit card... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
It's okay to leave your credit card...
Inside: It's when you leave your drink at the bank that you know you've got a problem. Happy birthday!
$2.95 | #5059
Laughter is the best medicine... Frank & Funny | Get Well
Laughter is the best medicine...
Inside: Unless you have diarrhea.
$2.95 | #4757
Life is like an octopus... Frank & Funny | Encouragement
Life is like an octopus...
INSIDE: Ok, I'm better at similes. You've like, got this.

$2.95 | #6344
Like a tree, you seem to grow more majestic every year. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Like a tree, you seem to grow more majestic every year.
INSIDE: I, on the other hand, just get a wider trunk and house more squirrels. (Happy birthday!)
$2.95 | #6345
Little girls know... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Little girls know...
Inside: Anyone, and I mean anyone, can wear a crown if they want to. Happy birthday.
$2.95 | #5139
Long after humans are gone, and nature has taken back our cities... Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
Long after humans are gone, and nature has taken back our cities...
INSIDE: Glitter will still be annoyingly sticking to things.
$2.95 | #6346
Meeting you was one of the happiest... Frank & Funny | Friendship
Meeting you was one of the happiest...
Inside: Besides finding my black boots on sale at Nordstrom. That was unbelievable!
$2.95 | #5063
My chemistry teacher says... Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
My chemistry teacher says...
Inside: Alcohol is a solution.
$2.95 | #5064
My friends keep telling me I should try hot yoga. Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
My friends keep telling me I should try hot yoga.
Inside: How about we start with hot wings and work our way up?
$2.95 | #6556
My relationship with you and coffee is the same. Frank & Funny | Friendship
My relationship with you and coffee is the same.
INSIDE: On the days I don’t see you... I feel irregular.
$2.95 | #6347
Never give up on your dreams. Frank & Funny | Encouragement
Never give up on your dreams.
Inside: Except the one about super powers... That one's not happening.
$2.95 | #4762
Never lie about passing gas. Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
Never lie about passing gas.
Inside: If you do, people might think that's your regular smell.
$2.95 | #4746
Okay, so we’re not really celebrating this birthday... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Okay, so we’re not really celebrating this birthday...
Inside: And that, my friend, is why we have wine. 
$2.95 | #6557
One time someone got me a wine stopper for my birthday. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
One time someone got me a wine stopper for my birthday.
Inside: What do I look like? An amateur? Happy birthday from one professional to another.
$2.95 | #6212
Our friendship is like a reclining chair. Frank & Funny | Friendship
Our friendship is like a reclining chair.
Inside: We go way back.
$2.95 | #5785
People are like snowflakes. They are all unique... Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
People are like snowflakes. They are all unique...
Inside: They are fragile. When there are a lot of them, they make trying to get anything done...
$2.95 | #6213
People who have never had a glass of wine before noon... Frank & Funny | Friendship
People who have never had a glass of wine before noon...
Inside: probably procrastinate in other areas of their life too.
$2.95 | #5344
Remember, age is just a number... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Remember, age is just a number...
Inside: Used by doctors to determine when you have to get your first colonoscopy or start taking calcium supplements. Happy birthday!
$2.95 | #6558
Some people look at the glass... Frank & Funny | Friendship
Some people look at the glass...
Inside: You look at the glass and say, "Can't anyone pick up after themselves around here?"
$2.95 | #4750
Sometimes you unload the dishwasher halfway before discovering it's dirty Frank & Funny | Encouragement
Sometimes you unload the dishwasher halfway before discovering it's dirty
Inside: and you keep going because you're no quitter.
$2.95 | #5786
Sure, we’re both getting older and life is slowing down, but... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Sure, we’re both getting older and life is slowing down, but...
Inside: If you do, could you please send me a summary? Happy birthday!
$2.95 | #6559
Thank you so much. Frank & Funny | Thank You
Thank you so much.
Inside: My expectations of you just increased.
$2.95 | #5787
The balloon animals popped, the clown got arrested... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
The balloon animals popped, the clown got arrested...
INSIDE: Wait until you see what happened to your present. Happy birthday.
$2.95 | #6348
The best way to convince yourself to wake up: Frank & Funny | Just For Laughs
The best way to convince yourself to wake up:
Inside: Promise your Morning Self that your Afternoon Self can take a nap later.
$2.95 | #6216
The definition of “incredibly outstanding” is you. Frank & Funny | Thank You
The definition of “incredibly outstanding” is you.
Inside: I looked it up.
$2.95 | #6560
The Golden Rule says... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
The Golden Rule says...
Inside: But you can't just walk around touching people like that. Enjoy your birthday (in moderation).
$2.95 | #4725
The NSA has tapped our phones and broken into our emails. Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
The NSA has tapped our phones and broken into our emails.
INSIDE: The only safe form of communication now is greeting cards.
$2.95 | #6349
The reason parenting is... Frank & Funny | New Baby
The reason parenting is...
Inside: The job itself is completely unrelated to the application process. Congratulations.
$2.95 | #5068
The veterinarian told me... Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
The veterinarian told me...
Inside: So I went home and told the cat, "You're fat and you're stupid."
$2.95 | #5069
They call new babies “bundles of joy.” That’s because... Frank & Funny | New Baby
They call new babies “bundles of joy.” That’s because...
Inside: Congrats on your new bundle!
$2.95 | #6561
They say a great way to lose weight... Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
They say a great way to lose weight...
Inside: That doesn't work, by the way. And, consequently, I'm no longer welcome at Target.
$2.95 | #4741
Things that totally suck: Vacuums. Straws. Anteaters. Frank & Funny | Thank You
Things that totally suck: Vacuums. Straws. Anteaters.
Inside: Things that totally don’t suck: You. Thank you!
$2.95 | #6218
Those who say you can’t have your cake and eat it too... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Those who say you can’t have your cake and eat it too...
Inside: Clearly have no idea how to work a fork. Happy birthday!
$2.95 | #6219
Took my meds, vitamins, and Advil... Frank & Funny | Just for Laughs
Took my meds, vitamins, and Advil...
INSIDE: I'm ready for the gym.
$2.95 | #6350
Unfortunately, I can’t be with you on your birthday... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Unfortunately, I can’t be with you on your birthday...
Inside: I regret not being with you on your big day. Happy birthday!
$2.95 | #6220
When Dr. Frankenstein created new life... Frank & Funny | New Baby
When Dr. Frankenstein created new life...
INSIDE: I hope your first year with the baby goes better.
$2.95 | #6351
Why don't you stop overachieving... Frank & Funny | Congratulations
Why don't you stop overachieving...
Inside: And settle into the warm embrace of mediocrity like the rest of us?
$2.95 | #4717
You are as rare as a unicorn, as unique as a sasquatch. Frank & Funny | Thank You
You are as rare as a unicorn, as unique as a sasquatch.
Inside: And not as pointy or hairy! Thanks for being you!
$2.95 | #6562
You are intelligent, beautiful, inspiring, humble, funny...  Frank & Funny | Friendship
You are intelligent, beautiful, inspiring, humble, funny... 
Inside: These are just a few of the many things we have in common. 
$2.95 | #6563
You are my iPhone charger. Frank & Funny | Friendship
You are my iPhone charger.
Inside: Without you, I panic and worry I’ll be bored forever.
$2.95 | #5345
You are nicer than me. Frank & Funny | Friendship
You are nicer than me.
INSIDE: I love you.
$2.95 | #6352
You are young, you are beautiful... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
You are young, you are beautiful...
Inside: I bought this card for you a while ago. Just found it. Happy birthday.
$2.95 | #5077
You know you’re old when you go out and do shots... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
You know you’re old when you go out and do shots...
Inside: Enjoy your enhanced immunity today. Happy birthday.
$2.95 | #6221
You're one year older. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
You're one year older.
Inside: You're getting closer and closer to the age where a life sentence isn't really that big of a threat.
$2.95 | #5346
You're only as old as you feel. Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
You're only as old as you feel.
Inside: Come here. Let me feel you.
$2.95 | #5347
Your doctor says... Frank & Funny | Happy Birthday
Your doctor says...
Inside: Sure it’s a bowler, but happy birthday anyway.
$2.95 | #5257